The Dumb Waiter
Is there anyone up there? How stupid do they think I am? Maybe the question is how stupid am I really? In the grand scheme of things I suppose it isn't the end of the world. So I sat through one of the most absurd excuses for a movie I can remember. I'm a fan of the Absurd. Hell, I've been waiting for Godot for ten years now.
I'm trying to refrain from forbidding you to see Cabin Fever. You should make up your own mind. Just let me say a few things. I don't think I've ever seen more horribly written characters (and I've seen Sleepaway Camp I-III) . I realize people in horror movies have their own logic and I'm used to that. But the actions and dialogue of these characters was so ridiculous and unbelievable that I truly found myself waiting, waiting for the scene to shift to some greasy, socially inept 13 year old who has been writing down this revenge fantasy that we've been watching play out. Or at some point the writer/director walks on like Rod Serling and mocks us for sitting through the whole thing, hoping for an explanation. Don't be fooled by the preview or the Peter Jackson recommendation. The movie ends with a fitting visual metaphor--a truck of water contaminated with the virus off to be sold to the public as bottled spring water. Deus ex PR Machina.

I wonder who's writing me?